Perhaps I'm not cut out for foreign films....

Foreign Films. Just saying it makes my IQ raise just a couple points. No, probably not, but it should. I generally stay away from certain movies (my list is around here somewhere) and, although I should probably never admit it, Foreign Films are generally avoided.

Super narrow minded of me, I know, but it is so true.

The other night I was skipping through my Netflix queue adding random crap here and there that I will probably delete next week because, lets face it, what looks good at 3 O'clock in the morning has a tendency to not look so good when you wake up the next day (that's what she said.)

So.......I was Netflix stalking some of my favorite hotties and found that one of my Australian hotties, Alex O'Loughlin, had a movie that I could watch instantly and after reading some of the reviews (actually just one of them) I thought "Cool Beans" (because I still love the 80's) and started watching Oyster Farmer.

Going to take a short break from my movie review here to give a brief bio on Alex just in case my two followers don't have a clue who he is.

Ok I really only wanted to put pictures of him up but I suppose you should know he is currently Steve McGarrett in the new Hawaii-50, was Dr. Andy Yablonski in the short lived Three Rivers, also Mick St. John in Moonlight and Stan in The Back-Up Plan with Jennifer Lopez.

So, the review I read that intrigued me enough to try this Australian film was another Netflix member's comments....
Ahem....copied without permission from the review of aod853850-- {snip snip} "But I didnt expect a full double n*de s*x scene complete with org*sm!" {unsnip snip}

Well, after I bought a vowel from Vanna I figured out "Holy Shit! Alex is neked!" So of course I had to watch it.

So misleading....so boring!

First I have to say that I felt like a complete Tard watching this film. I would have been better off had I used subtitles. Unfortunately as I watched if from the Netflix website I am not sure I had that option and if I did I am not sure how to go about getting subtitles and Good Gravy! why the hell would I need subtitles when Australians speak English is an excellent question. I could not understand a single freaking word most of those characters said.

Strike one: An Unexpected Language Barrier

The next point I need to make is that after watching the movie for an hour and not getting to see any nakey Alex I paused the movie and read some more reviews. Many of them loved this movie and pointed out the great humor. I think maybe I might have heard something that sounded like, "A wombat, a kangaroo and a croc walk into a bar" but honestly I can't be sure. The only really funny thing I found in this movie was when the dog ate the TV remote. When he farted the channel changed.

Strike Two: A curious lack of Funny

Point number 2.5 is related to those reviews. Many of them said they learned a lot about oyster farming. I watched them farmers farming them oysters and have to just assume that was what they were doing. One scene had a couple of men cracking a stick against a crud covered pole which knocked off the crud. Another couple scenes had a man walking on some square frames that were on top of the water that might have had oysters in them. Oh, one scene had a couple men hammering at rocks (or maybe oysters, not really sure but it could go either way). My favorite farming scene was when the main oyster farmer put all his oysters in their very own swimming pool and sat there staring at them. Then went out and kicked some man in the nards screaming about how they made his oysters spew. Or it could have been that the oysters blew (once again it could go either way).

Strike Two Point Five: Oyster Farming makes no sense to a girl from Iowa

Continuing on with those random reviewers and their unsolicited opinions (can they still be unsolicited if I sought them out?)...many also said that the scenery was stunningly beautiful. Granted many of the river scenes where Jack or Pearl (yes they really named the female love interest in a movie about oysters, Pearl) were motor boating through was lovely but most of the movie took place in local homes of the farmers. These homes tended to look like run down shacks and were so dirty (like needing a good scrubbing with some Clorox dirty, not Alex has a hot naked ass dirty) that just watching made me want to go bathe. Of course I spent a lot of time staring at the movie and it's scenery because I had tuned out the sound early on which actually made me feel better not having to multitask and all. (Hey, for someone who doesn't multitask well watching a movie and  listening to it too qualifies as multitasking.)

Strike Three, Four and Five: 70 minutes into the movie still no neked Alex

I think perhaps Jack the hero of this Indie-Dramady might have been a victim of domestic abuse or maybe possessed (not by a hugely evil satanic demon but more of a minorly satanic trickster demon.) He continually had new scrapes and wounds that were never really explained which lead me to believe he must have run into a door a lot (But Doctor I swear I'm just clumsy!) and when he kissed Pearl for the first time his nose spontaneously bled (apparently it was quite a kiss.) Oh and not long into the movie you see Jack's sister patching up a blackened eye of his but we didn't know what happened. About 20 minutes later we see Jack getting into a fight with a man who punches him in the eye. AHA! Not a demonic induced injury after all. Just a demonic editor who played 52 card pickup with the film scenes.

Strike Six: You mean editing is an important job?

Finally Alex strips.  And I didn't really get to see a nakey Alex. Just a little hip, oh and one of her nipples but whatever. What I took away from that particular scene was that they stripped and then did it on a rickety old dock and all I could think was that Pearl was going to get splinters in her ass. I'm kind of surprised she didn't although she might have but if so it was mentioned at the 5 minute mark of the movie due to the awesome editing and I forgot. Oh and by the way he did her after killing her dog....granted it wasn't on purpose (killing the dog) but STILL!

Strike 7 or Whatever: So, if you accidentally kill some one's dog don't tell them, just buy them a new puppy and then stick your penis in whatever hole they offer up.

But wait there's more. This movie also includes: A sister that only shows up on screen when we have to believe that Jack is a good man, a minor shoe fetish, a gun shooting vet, an armored car robbery, an old man who is into arts and crafts, an ex-wife who is farming someone else's oysters, a son who never takes off his stocking cap, a Hell's Angels type of motor boating gang (with neighborly manners), and some ending credit outdoor tub splashing.

Strike 8 Or Maybe More: With all that they still managed to make a snoozefest of a movie

Tea Time or Toilet Time????

For those ladies who insist on holding entire conversations in public restrooms...Knock it off will ya??? Some of us are not in there for tea and scones and hate feeling that maybe an apology might be in order when letting go of a massive fart while dropping some toilet biscuits. Oh, and get over the smell with you??? It's a room full of toilets what do you expect it to smell like? Fresh baked chocolate chip cookies?

My Not so secret Star Crush....

Ryan Reynolds. There I said it. I freely admit it. I think he is totally hot. I will go see any movie he is in just to spend 90 minutes gazing at him or if I'm really lucky 2 hours. Here's why...

Randomness while Driving

So on the way to work the other day I was speeding along....yep speeding...I somehow always find that I have exactly 19 minutes to get from my house to work and punch in. Never know how that happens....it just does. So, anyways, I was speeding along the backway to work....can't take the front way....it's all blocked off because of road construction...the bastards.  So here I am on a two lane no passing allowed road behind a Jimmy John's deliverer who was behind a dumbass going 20 miles an hour under the speed limit. Granted this stretch of road is only about a mile long but HELLO! I'm on a deadline here! and all I could see was the 20 cars behind me and that Jimmy Johns driver ahead of me and my one thought (among the huge amount of profanities coming out of my mouth aimed at the shithole going so slow) was....At least they're still Freaky Good.

Random Thought

Ok, so at work earlier, while diligently working my weary fingers to the bone a woman walked past talking to her friend loudly. It's weird what some people talk about in public when they don't think others are listening. Which totally isn't the point because I didn't hear a lot of what she was saying because she was, as I said, walking past and was out of ear shot quickly. All I heard was "I have multiple, multiple......".(she so enunciated her words that way!) That's it. That's all I heard. My first thought was not "What does she have multiple of???" Nope. I really didn't give two shits. My thought was..."Isn't it a bit redundant to multiply a multiple?"

Well? Isn't it? Isn't it?

Random crap....or maybe just Pretzels

While strolling through my mega list of blogs that I follow I stumbled upon a friend of a friend of a friend who I don't know from Adam but thought her blog about chips vs. pretzels was kind of silly, a little pointless but yet it totally entertained me for several minutes and I thought I would share.

Jenn's original blog idea, which I totally copied but with some minor alterations I made it my own so therefore should not in anyway infringe on her creative writings whatsoever (in theory anyway, based completely on the music industry's irresponsible hip-hop examples) can be seen here.... Pretzels or Chips.

So this blog post got me thinking....it does happen occasionally....about Pretzels. I like 'em. They aren't my favorite snack food idea but they are quite munchable. My only problem is that unless you get the proper pretzel to liquid ratio correct you end up with a mouth full of pretzel paste.

Pretzel Paste by definition is the dough like residue that builds up when one's mouth does not produce enough spit to turn the pretzel from a hard solid form into a swallowable consistency.

So, what does this have to do with anything? It really doesn't other than I don't care for pretzel paste and need a glass of water  handy when eating pretzels. Oh and Pretzel flavored Mt. Dew isn't as appealing as it sounds, I wouldn't recommend it.

No tolerance for idiots....

First off I have to tell you that I worked for over a decade with adults with special needs. Many of them were mentally challenged. I really have an endless supply of patience when it comes to those people. Honest I do. However, lately, I have noticed my tolerance for people with "normal" IQs who act like complete idiots is diminishing. I don't know if it is the fact that I am fast approaching 40 or that the pollutants in our air and soil are causing certain stupid people to meet certain other stupid people resulting in the world crisis of a baby boom of breeding fucktards or what. But let me tell you, it's an epidemic.

Went to Runza not to long ago and ordered myself a Swiss Cheese Mushroom Runza (yummo!) and ordered my mom a Swiss Cheese Mushroom Burger with only mustard. I don't work at Runza. I don't know what they put on their sandwiches. Some places put mustard, ketchup and pickles standard. Some places you get lettuce and tomatoes too. Runza apparently gives you dumb asses taking orders. After a long pause once I ordered my mom's sandwich the disembodied female voice (I'll call her Dumb-Ass-Woman or DAW for short) had a couple of questions....
DAW--What was after that Swiss Cheese Mushroom Runza?
Me--A Swiss Cheese Mushroom Burger with only mustard.
DAW--Ma'am the Swiss Cheese Mushroom Burger doesn't come with mustard."
Me--(after an eye roll and a mental WTF) OK, can I get that with mustard only?
DAW--Do you want the mushrooms and cheese?
Me--(reigning in my smart ass remarks, biting my tongue, and putting on a smile) Yes that would be great. A Swiss Cheese Mushroom Burger with Swiss cheese, mushrooms and mustard.

Am I really losing my ability to accept stupidity with grace and a shoulder shrug? Did I even have that ability or am I just being bombarded more recently without having the experience of shrugging it off over this last decade because it truly is becoming some sort of wide swept affliction?

I write therefore I am

I have an acquaintance from high school who recently took up blogging. Maybe he actually has been blogging for a while but I just discovered his (possibly new) blog and  eagerly check in with it everyday to see what he has written about.

I am never disappointed, he writes several things daily. His blog posts are always so.....hmmmm....eloquent Yep, that would be the word to describe them. His topics are always thought provoking and entertaining. His posts often ask rhetorical questions that I myself always wonder just never actually thought to ask.

Knowing that he is writer and I am in awe with his blog it makes me wonder about my own blog. Is it worth even writing? Worth reading? Worth a pile of petrified poo?

The unwritten rules of blogging state that you should first and foremost blog for your own enjoyment.

Do I blog because I enjoy it? Yep. Well, maybe. I mean I kinda do. I definitely don't do it for the masses. I currently have 2 followers on my blog (shout out to ya girls!) so I am pretty sure I am not entertaining the troops with my various posts on weird shit that pops into my head. But I have to wonder if I blog because I truly like it or because the wallflower (how's that for an old word?) in me is tired of being ignored. I kind of feel like throwing open my window and shouting "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!" (obscure movie quote from the movie Network by the way) but now thanks to the Internet I won't get into trouble for screaming out my window at 3am. I can just blog about it.

I often have things to say but just end up letting other people talk over me so much that now that I have a captive audience (all 2 of you) I'm in 5th or 6th heaven. Not sure if I get more followers if that will elevate me up to 7th Heaven or not......

So, I am still not sure if I blog for my own enjoyment or if I am a troubled kid crying out for attention. Honestly I don't give two shits one way or another but I have to admit I like my finished products and if someone else has read them and likes what they read that's cool too.

That leaves me with another unwritten rule of blogging. You don't have to be a writer to blog. OK I just made that one up. It's a good rule though. I might have to write that one down.

So, I might not ever write anything remotely awe inspiring as my acquaintance can but I'm going to keep on keeping on...er....blogging on.

*unprofessional author's note--The entire topic of this post was based on a 10 second thought process my brain underwent after reading a post by said acquaintance. I am pretty sure I dedicated more time writing about it than I did actually thinking about it. I am in no way comparing myself or my writing to that of a professional nor do I ridicule myself for not creating an award winning prose. It was more of a "Blogging...why bother." moment which has now passed. I solemnly swear to never go in this direction again.

Are there any Good Remakes out there???

So yesterday Carolyn and I went to the old as dirt theater here in CB to see Nightmare On Elm Street. As you may remember I was pretty pessimistic about it too. I was right about that by the way.

First I feel the need to explain our little run down theater. It was quite the hoppin' place back in the 1970's and unfortunately never updated. The screen is like watching a 13" television from across the room and the seats...well those I think are rather new because they bought them from another theater that probably bought theirs from another theater who bought theirs from....anyway, the seats are not that bad and now they even have cup holders. Yes our little theater is moving on up. Before 6pm tickets cost only $2...after 6 they are $3. Not bad. The popcorn though is best left alone. Last time I ate it I had a hard time choking down the stale kernels. Oh and after a sat down I stepped onto something of substance....under my shoe it felt about the size of a candy bar. At least I hope it was a candy bar. It didn't smell like dookie around my seat so I am pretty confident that someone didn't take a hard dump in the 3rd row.

So, Carol and I splurged and spent 3 Bucks to see a movie that we both agreed would never be worth $9 at a first run theater. After the movie we kind of wanted our  money back. I think it was worth a dollar....Redbox DVD rental worthy. Nothing more than that.

Now for the Movie

We were a little disappointed that Robert Englund would not be Freddy in this remake. Granted he is 63 years old but it isn't like Freddy is an attractive 30 year old or anything. The actor that portrayed Freddy in the remake is Jackie Earle Haley who has actually been in quite a number of different tv/movie projects but more recently he played Rorschach in Watchmen. I thought he did a great job as Rorschach. As Freddy though....meh.

This review might contain some spoilers....but honestly this is a remake....isn't the entire movie a spoiler???

As the storyline went....it was changed quite a bit but still held onto the whole Freddy will kill you in your dreams thing. Nancy is the only recognizable character. None of the characters are really friends, whereas in the original they were. Tina, Rod, Glen and Nancy made up the group. The other closest to the original would probably be Kris....at least in the original Tina's real name was Christina.

The beginning of the movie jumps right in with a guy who might be in a nightmare but you just don't know until you see Freddy. It also spends the first 1/3 or so of the movie surrounding Kris and her boyfriend. It was a little weird. Kind of like the film people were following Kris around and when she died they all looked at each other, the director said "Well that sucks. What'll we do now? OK here's what we are going to do...keep the cameras rolling and everyone follow Nancy. Now GO!"

The Kill Scenes

No horror movie is worth dirt unless it has some awesome and gory kill scenes. Some of them were OK in the movie. Some...I swear I saw them before somewhere LOL. Kris's death was very similar to Tina's in the original. The opening kill scene.....well just didn't make a whole lot of sense. It suffered from too many special effects. Yes it does happen. I'll tell you about another instance in a bit.

First kill scene....the opening guy ends up kind of killing himself. At least that is what it looked like to witnesses. Of course they couldn't see Freddy forcing Dean to do it. Let's just say that this involved a steak knife and a throat. The problem I had with this was that the steak knife wasn't some sort of serrated Ginsu knife. It was one of the big bulky rounded ones that you find at places like The Golden Corral. What's up with the rounded tip anyway? It's like a safety scissor's version of a steak knife. Sure one could shove a 5" safety knife into one's throat....with enough force one could shove a spoon in there. But to make one clean swipe across the entire throat (buried to the hilt by the way) with a knife that could barely cut against the grain of a fillet Mignon? Maybe if you took the time to saw through the cartilage and tissue, but honestly I don't think so....that might be an experiment worthy of Mythbusters.

Another kill scene that didn't make much sense was when Jesse was in jail. Freddy thrust his entire hand (knives and all) through Jesse's back and out his chest. Of course in Jail all you see is blood and gore erupting out of his chest cavity. He falls onto his stomach and dies. There is no marks on his back at all. So, what's the issue then right? If you remember from the original Rod dies in jail but "hangs himself". This made sense because of all the cameras. The whole thing with Freddy killing is because if there are witnesses no one would believe them. Who is going to believe that a water bed sucked someone into it and spewed them out like Old Faithful filled with tomato soup instead of plain water. (By the way...not in this movie...what? No one has a water bed anymore???) But in jail with all the cameras....that shit will end up on YouTube. Try explaining that one.

Writers take liberties on Freddy's background

In the original Freddy is a child killer. Pretty horrible huh? In 2010 what could possibly be worse than a child killer. Let's make him a pedophile. Yep Freddy liked the kiddies. I think they spent way, I mean WAY, too much time on this. At one point Freddy gave me the Chester the Molester creeps. This was not the way it was supposed to be! Freddy should scare the crap outta me (maybe that was a petrified turd I stepped on) because the boogie man is scary...he will kill you...you can't fall asleep because he wants to kill you. Not because he wants to show you his secret place and give you candy if you will help keep it a secret.

Special effects are only special if used sparingly

Not that I ever thought about proving this as a point but thanks to this movie I can now say "A-ha! It is true." Remember in the original Freddy liked to run his knives along metal and creating little sparks? Pretty cool actually. Now picture him doing this for what seems like an entire football field. Now picture the little sparks looking like someone welding something complete with the sparking fizzle sound. Either that or someone Punk'd Freddy and attached sparklers to his finger tips. It was that ridiculous.

Let's wrap this up folks

So overall am I glad I watched it? Still not sure.
Am I glad I didn't spend $9 when it came out the end of April? Hell's Yeah!
Do I wish I would have gone the Redbox $1 route? Naw...I still had a good time with Carol.
Am I glad I didn't bend over and touch whatever was on the floor? Forever Grateful.

A new blog look....a new lease on life.

Not really. I mean yes I do have a new blog look. Fabulous isn't it? Not made by Lena but I still stand by her work. If you scroll back through my past blogs to the second official blog you can find her link. She has some gorgeous layouts that would please just about anyone.

So why am I not using one of hers? No clue. I was still awake at 6am this morning looking for Mr Sleep and not finding him on facebook so I blogged. After writing my heart out for a few minutes and clicking publish post I got a wild hair to look at Blogger's Design feature and found this fabulous orange swirly background.

New background....check.

A New Lease On Life...not today. But then I am pretty satisfied with the way my life is going right now. One would have to be dissatisfied first before needing to embark on a new lease on life right?

Anyway, speaking of where my life is going, it is supposed to be going to shower so I can meet a friend from work at The Great Wall for dinner before heading to the run down CB theater to watch a movie that has been out for a couple of months but not yet on DVD.

What am I going to see? Nightmare on Elm Street. Being a fan of the 80's and the original, Carolyn and I are determined to see what they did to our beloved movie. A pessimist at heart...I am going to see how they completely screwed a classic horror movie.

Creativity. Got It?

A typical night for me after work usually consists of me spending a little time at my computer before heading to bed. Also pretty typical for me is that I tend to get a little sidetracked while obsessively reading my facebook updates. Tonight (or this morning depends on what kind of person you are) was, you guessed it, typical. While deciding if I really wanted to play Farmville (why I even bother I have no idea...I really hate gardening or anything having to do with yard work in reality) or trying to find something uber clever to update my status with I noticed the box of scrap booking items that I have sitting in the corner of my computer room.

The box isn't overly large. About the size of a 1980's boom box with duel cassette decks, not too big but totally rad, it is sitting on top of 3 boxes of books that I have yet to find room for and next to a basket of clothes that could be clean but more likely not. Upon seeing it I remembered that, "Oh yeah!" I totally wanted to put together the most brilliant and beautiful book of memories for myself. And later, when my friends and family paged through it with envy, I was going to make one for them too.

Well, I have the supplies. I have the time. I even have someone who would love to join me in a pseudo scrap booking party. So, what's the problem?

I do not have even one tiny smidgen of creativity in my entire body.

I remember now when I obtained all those wondrous supplies. It was truly glorious. I had various sizes of colorful paper spread out in front of me littered with crafty little decals just ready for some glue. I had the special scissors, the special markers, the special photos! all haphazardly arranged on the floor ready to begin. And there I sat...not sure where to start. I waited for inspiration. I looked at crafting magazines hoping some DIY star would become my muse.

After a little while I opted to flip through my photos in search of...well, anything to help me get started. What I ended up doing is spending an hour or more thumbing through those photos remembering the person, thinking about the place they were taken and in some of them wondering "what was I thinking???"

After going through the entire pile I put them all back into my shoe box packed up all my scrap booking supplies and stuck the entire box into the corner where it has been for awhile.

For those creative souls does creating come easy? Is it just a matter of laying out a few odds and ends of paper, add a little glue, write a little note and *poof* art? Am I one of the few who just can't look at a pile of various things and create beauty?

I think so. Give me a diagram, write me directions, give me step by step instructions....I might be able to copy them. Copy. Yep. Not create but carefully reproduce someone else's vision. At least it would be an excellent reproduction. I would probably even get a ruler out to make sure my ribbon was in the exact same location. I would have to trace any handwritten notes to ensure that my finished product looked as good as the original.

Does my lack of creativity have anything to do with me being completely and utterly anal? I have no clue but it is an interesting correlation. I do know that I humbly bow down to you artsy fartsy people. You rock.

So for now my box of scrap booking supplies still sits in the corner. One of these days I will pull it back out or maybe I will just put it into the closet on the shelf next to my partially completed latch hook rug, my beading supplies, the counted cross stitch project, and the sewing pattern to make my very own window treatments.

Free sample plus a laugh

Yesterday I was browsing through my mega list of blogs I follow and read that Kotex was giving away free samples of their new U brand of feminine products. Always one for anything free (yes I will fill out a form to get a free sample of diapers. Do I have kids....nope. But I am a firm believer that someone will be up a literal shit creek without a diaper and I will just happen to have one.) anyway, I promptly filled out the required fields. Name-Check. Address-Check. Gender-WTF???? Gender? Really? Me thinks Kotex also believes that people will always request any type of samples regardless what they are. Hope Billy can explain to his girlfriend that Yes, that tampon is his and no, he isn't completely insane.

By the way, the blog I found the sample giveaway on was Monique's over at Stretching The One Income Dollar.

It sure is High...up here on my soapbox...

So, the news today is a little bleak for a family of 16 year old Abby Sunderland. Abby was sailing around the world in order to be the youngest sailor ever to circumnavigate the globe. That's all fine and good but what I want to know is why at 16 she was allowed to do this. Her parents believed that she was more then capable of handling her small sailboat but what about other dangers that every other 16 year old has been warned about? It was completely irresponsible of her parents to let her attempt this journey alone.

Her mother had been quoted... "Could there be a tragedy?" MaryAnne Sunderland said. "Yeah, there could be. But there could be a tragedy on the way home tonight, you know, or driving with her friends in a car at 16. You minimize the risks."

Abby herself said "I am definitely nervous," Abby told "20/20." "People say you shouldn't be nervous if you are really ready to do this. But I understand [the] ocean, and I understand how dangerous what I am doing actually is, and I understand how careful I need to be out there."


In her young age I don't believe that she was fully prepared to embark on this type of journey. Seasoned sailors "understand [the] ocean" and still end up in dangerous situations. How could a 16 year old have that much knowledge, education and experience about sailing and the ocean?

What about the ports where she had to dock to get more supplies? Were all those safe and secure for a 16 year old girl alone? Last I heard many many locations within the United States are not necessarily safe for young women....what about foreign lands? Even if they were US friendly does that make it safe for a female alone?

T.J. Simers, a columnist for The Los Angeles Times even went as far as spouting Child Abuse in this particular case. "I just don't understand the idea of risking life. This kid's going to be out there all by herself. Death is a possibility. Bad weather. Are you kidding me? Who's responsible for this? She's a kid."


In response, Abby's father said something to the effect that they, the critics, didn't know his daughter. No, we don't. At least I don't. All I know is that she is 16. She should have a part time job, working hard in school, going to Prom and getting ready for her future with choosing a college. Instead she is lost at sea, somewhere in the southern part of the Indian Ocean.

Another bit of info that I found interesting.....Guinness World Records says it will no longer recognize "youngest ever" sailing records, because they are so risky.

Even the GWR people get it. I sincerely hope that Abby is found soon and alive. It honestly wouldn't have squashed her young dreams by making her wait a few more years to get more experience...it would have been good parenting.

I got much of my information from the ABC article found Here and from AOL news Here.

What's on my mind (AKA Random shit that makes no sense to anyone but me.)

So, 3:30 in the morning on what is sure to be a fantabulous Monday and I am still awake burning the midnight oil (that saying doesn't really make a whole lot of sense anymore now that no one uses oil for lighting but whatever) and not being about to sleep. At this point at night (or morning, whichever makes you happier to think of it as) one would think that the brain would start shutting down and sleep would start trying to take over. Not so much.

So I know you aren't probably wondering what could possibly be going through my mind at 3:32am but as this is my blog and I am writing it for my entertainment I'm going to share just what is going on.

First of all I have to share that I could very well have Adult Attention Deficit. I have never been diagnosed, that would entail my having to go to a doctor and as far as I'm concerned I would rather ask my neighbor's 98 year old Grandmother's mail carrier what my diagnosis is and hand him/her $70 for their words of wisdom then spend 3 hours in my physician's waiting room and 10 minutes with the medical assistant just to wait another hour for the doctor to come in to tell me that I am having issues with my mind wandering and random interrupted thought processes because I am fat. (Think that is far fetched? Trust me. Whatever ailment you go to the doctor for, if you are fat, that would be their professional opinion on what is wrong with you. Their cure? Lose Weight. Seriously. You got a rash on your bum? Doctor: You're Fat. Your nasal mucus is blue? Doctor: You're Fat. Anyway, back to my story). My AAD, or should I say alleged AAD? Whatever. I often have various and random thoughts that spring into my head every few minutes. Sometimes only a couple. Sometimes half a dozen. None of them ever have anything to do with one another. It's kind of like being a winner of an amazing gift bag full of goodies. Which you happily open up only to find half a peanut butter cookie, 6 dimes, an acrylic fingernail with green polish, car keys that go to a 1981 Datsun (car not included), a deflated rubber balloon, and a left shoe.

Anyway, what is my goodie  bag/mind full of tonight? That is the question.

Answer-------->An old friend, my nephew, Texas, a song that has been going through my head all day, laundry, and gas.

Now to elaborate......

Old Friend....Years and years ago my little group of friends had a mutual friend who was in the Air Force. He deployed to Turkey and we never heard from him again. Short of paying someone to find him for us we have tried various times throughout the years to find him. I think I have found him and still cannot contact him (found him but no contact information was available) which is so frustrating.

Nephew....age 13. Is still awake and chooses not to let me boss him around when it comes to thing like..."Go to bed." "Brush your teeth." and my favorite "Seven cans of Dr. Pepper a day is too much. Please drink water."

Texas....I am driving down to Texas in 2 days with my sister, nephew (of the I like to drink pop, stay up all night and not brush my teeth) and my 3 month old niece. I am excited because I haven't had a chance to see my cousins in years but my totally awesome (love my 80's reference?) road trip is now a family "Are we there yet? trip. *sigh*....I'm thinking it will still be fun. If not...there is something called Tequila.

Laundry...Do I have clean clothes for work tomorrow? If not....oops.  A little late to start a load tonight. Good Gravy it is almost 4am. Nope scratch that it is after 4. I got sidetracked while blogging and ended up doing a quiz on "Do you have Adult Attention Deficit?". 52% yes. 48% not so mu...oh look a butterfly.

Gas....not the kind that goes into your car. Enough said?

Song....All day long, seriously! The Bloodhound Gang's Three Point One Four. Really not a song to sing out loud. Yet I did. Multiple times at work. Thankfully the filter between my brain and my mouth was somewhat working and I did not blurt out any of the lyrics while in the vicinity of guests or people who could fire me.
"Early bird gets the worm spread your legs or spread the word,
So what if I'm not the smartest peanut in the turd"

What up?

I don't know why I titled my post that way. It sounds so much better when you say it to a friend then it does here. I mean, how cool are you when you see someone you know give the little head nod and say "What up?" but here....it kind of looks like you failed grammar in school and spelling. Which leads me to my topic of the day....

Can someone please tell me what the point is to text typing.

I know it tends to go a little faster if you can eliminate some letters from your text but do you really need to text 120 words per minute? Are your friends timing you? Are you going for a world record?

I see this going on outside texting too. I am a member of tons of different sites..Shelfari, Facebook, MySpace etc and everyday I am bombarded with things like....

-wut? I wuz thinkin tha same shit itz jst u beat me 2 it!
-this wize woman told me that if I wus 2 jst $mile 1nce I wud git betr tips.
and
-i knoe that is somethin he would sayy 2

Is it really that much easier to type a z in wise instead of an s? How about the u in was? Knoe? 1nce instead of once?

I have a "friend" who actually types everything that has an i in it with 2 i's. So her texts would read something like this....
Hii all, ii'm goiin out of twn 2niite. ii wiill see evry1 when ii get bak.

Over all she really seems like a nice girl and completely not uneducated so I am thinking she must have a good reason why she does this. Weird huh? Now I'm going to say something that shows my age as I shake my fist in the air as those crazy kids take a shortcut in their writing (as if they were taking a shortcut through my yard) and say..... What is this world coming to?

Or should I say? Wut iiz ths wurld cumiin 2?

My Second Official blog post.

Whew. Glad I got that first one out of the way. I don't know why but that first post is always the hardest. It's as if I am afraid that I will say something complete ignorant and my status as Pretty Pretty Princess might get taken away by my devoted followers.

Pretty crazy actually because as this is my second post (yes I am counting that first one as a post. It says it is. Therefore it is. It's all there in black and white. Actually blue and yellow because currently my background is a pretty one created by Lena who is a Creative Goddess) and I only have one follower. Come to think of it. I really don't know how I even got her to follow me. I made this blog last week but this is the first time I have had a chance to really start blogging on it. But it is what it is...Shout out to ya Suko!

You might wonder why I am the Pretty Pretty Princess. Or not. Bet I'll tell you anyway. Try to stop me.

First off, am I attractive enough to garner Pretty times 2? Nope, not really.

How about just one Pretty? Sure. In some relatively small isolated country I could probably be a Queen. A possession, like a highly coveted cow to a tiny village located somewhere in the South Pacific where you have to wear super strong reading glasses to see it on a world map.

Which leads me to Princess. I was the Princess at work for quite a while. Mostly in my head but occasionally out in the open. I was happy and content. Then my friend (who wasn't my friend when we first met...I mean really, can you call a perfect stranger a friend right away?? But now I think of him as a friend) Tim, started and all of a sudden people started calling him Princess. I mean really? He could have been a Queen. I wouldn't have objected. But he says that in his social circles being a Queen isn't always a good thing. So, he was now The Princess.

I ended up letting him be Princess because his sad panda face is better then mine and I didn't want to have to Bitch-Slap him at work where there are surveillance cameras on us at all times. And there began my stint as The Pretty Pretty Princess but you can just call me Christina. It's all good.

My first official blog post