Dream a Little Psycho Dream

Ok so I had the weirdest dream last night. Probably not technically the weirdest dream because once I had a dream that I could fly but reality kept sneaking into my dream so instead of flying I did a lot of falling only to bounce back up into the sky over and over. I ended up doing giant Hulk bounces across the country but none of that has anything to do with last nights' dream so you can just ignore this entire last paragraph if you want.

Last nights' dream featured a serial killer who had a weird signature where the first night he killed someone and removed one body part (which he kept) then the second night he cut off two body parts of his next victim then three from the third victim on the third night and so forth. So gruesome, right?

Dreaming of serial killers is odd, I admit, but it got weirder when the group of friends I was with, who were quite reminiscent of the typical odd bunch found in any slasher horror film, kept going back to the building where the serial killer was at. It's a little unclear as to why the serial killer was continually hanging around that strip mall pharmacy but, hey, serial killers aren't known for their sanity, right?

Now for the strange bunch of friends I was with... the motley group had the typical golden couple who inevitably found a quiet corner to have inappropriately timed monkey sex, the conspiracy theorist who, early on, figured out something wasn't quite right and a dangerously deranged psycho was picking people off one by one, the lovable goofball who managed to joke his way into being the first victim and finally the screaming blonde. You know the one, the one who always ends up in her underwear running and tripping while screaming at everything. Oh and me and my equally fluffy best friend. Who weirdly enough, was not my actual best friend but a girl that I knew from high school who I was not particularly close to. Not sure how she ended up in my dream.

Now if all of that wasn't completely insane enough the gang and I kept going back to that strip mall and to the pharmacy over and over. We'd open the door, see the killer dismembering his latest victim with dental tools??? (subconsciously I must have remembered I really need to make an appointment with my dentist), the unnamed blonde would scream (like Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone) and we'd all scatter (into the building of all things). What followed was a total Scooby Doo montage. The gang being chased into a room by the killer then the gang unbelievably running out from the room across the hall. The lovable goofball (who was alive for the montage purposes) peeking out from the inside of a barrel that didn't go with the pharmacy decor at all but needed to be there, once again, for the montage. Running down a very long hallway was the blonde who was missing her pants and falling every 3 feet.

Finally we'd all meet back up at the front door where we'd barely make it out the door before the killer caught us and we'd all jump into our waiting vehicles and make our escape. Except for me and my bestie. We found ourselves without a vehicle. The golden couple rode off in their pickup. The blonde rode off in her yellow convertable. The conspiracy theorist rode off on his motorcycle. This only left the horse. So my bestie and I jumped on the horse and took off. Now, despite the fact that this horse was full out running while carrying 2 fat chicks, he totally kept up with the rest of the gang. He actually passed the motorcycle to tell the truth. 

It wasn't long after this point that I woke up ending the bizzaro dream but right before I woke, my only thought was... "This horse is freakin' awesome!"