Friday, November 4, 2011

I said WHAT?!?!

I never did write anything about my 20th high school reunion this past summer and as I have shown the world (aka my 9 followers) that I am indeed a bad blog mommy and failed to nurture my blog with regular feedings of random crap that pops into my head I thought now is as good of time as any to say "Hey, the unpopular fat girl from high school had a great time at her reunion. Yo."

With that said the first night was so much fun I have forgotten most of it. The second, not as much but the night was still goin' great and then I said something crazy. But more on that later.

The first night we went to Bishops Bar which is co-owned by a classmate of mine and they were gracious enough to host it on Friday. Now normally I am not a bar kinda person. I out grew my bar phase sometime between the age of 21 and 22 (yeah, I was the partier let me tell you.) I just found that a bottle of Tequila and a fridge full of orange juice was so much cheaper and I could drink in my jammies if I wanted. Anyway, taking into consideration that I do not like to spend money at bars and add to that the addition of them all having Karaoke fun* it's a wonder I actually step foot in a bar once a year normally. Honestly though Bishops was my kind of bar. It is smallish and has that Karaoke thing but the bartenders were awesome and someone that I know owns it which kind of makes it a winning combo.

I admit that I drank too much that first night. I was really sticking to my "the more Tequila Sunrises I drink the healthier I'll be" theory** and I'm glad that I had set up a DD before going in there. I drank enough that I forgot that I hated high school and totally turned into a Chatty Cathy (Chatty Christina?) instigating conversations with people who either
1)didn't have a clue who I was
2)probably wouldn't have talked to me back in high school anyway
or
3)thought I was a lunatic

In case you are wondering my story kind of goes like this.....

I was a overweight shy girl in school. Didn't cause trouble. Never answered questions asked by the teacher even if I knew them. Squandered my knowledge by refusing to do homework but acing my tests making me a C student and being OK with that. Didn't do much of anything to bring attention to myself and lived my high school life invisible. Sounds positively dreadful right? At the time I was OK with it. As I have matured I have come to an understanding about myself and an acceptance that I have a lot to offer other people if I just stepped out of my comfort zone and let other people get to know me.

It still is a struggle taking that first step out of my comfort zone though let me tell you. It involves deep breathing, pep talks and the occasional shot of Tequila (or two).

So, back to my high school reunion. I decided that if I was going to have a good time I was going to have to get out there and make my fun. It wasn't going to come to me. It worked. I had a fabulous time that first night. It was fun seeing how much people had changed over 20 years.

The second night was fun also but there was a mix up with the venue (they wrote the wrong date on their calender) so they weren't expecting a bunch of near 40 year olds to swoop down upon their place. They worked it out though but I bet we don't have our 25th there.

It was this second night that during my happy go lucky time 'Crazy' showed up and out of my mouth popped this....

"Are you ignoring me? You ignored me all through high school are you really going to do it again?"

Oh yeah. I said it. I honestly don't know where it came from though. I have totally accepted who I was back in high school and who I am now. I hold a lot of the blame for my invisibility 2 decades ago and I have learned to go forward and be the person I want to be in life. So where the fuck did it come from? I would like to blame the alcohol but I hadn't had that much to drink. It seriously just came out of nowhere. I wasn't feeling malicious. I wasn't feeling annoyed, left out, pitiful, lonely, or any other self depreciating emotion that I can possibly come up with. It was if I were possessed by Jan Brady or someone equally whiny and self centered. What I do know is that once it came out of my mouth there was quite the awkward silence and the poor guy I happened to tag with it did the only thing he possibly could. He said "Oh Christina." and gave me a hug.

It was completely mortifying. The unfortunate guy on the receiving end of my 'Crazy' is a good guy. He wasn't a bully. I don't recall any negativity from him ever back in high school. It wasn't even like he was one of my secret crush guys*** who didn't even know I existed.

Fast forward 2 months later and I'm still thinking about my reunion and the great first night and my visit from 'Crazy' the second. I'm hoping that the alcohol involved during my possession was enough to strike this particular conversation from the minds of him and the two other people sitting there at the time. Of course I could be making more of this than anyone else but in my mind it was out of character for me and completely out of line.

Even with my little visit from psychoville I am pushing for a 25th and I'm looking forward to it. See all y'all in 2016! Muah!

*Karaoke Fun--aka Christina's journey into hell. I am one of the only people I know who hate Karaoke. I don't know if I am more terrified of a bunch of people who think they can sing or if I think I may get to drinking too much and think I can too. This is what I would look like doing Karaoke (note this is not me but other than me being probably 5 inches taller than this woman this could be me. Although I do wear longer shirts so my stomach tends to stay covered even when pelvic thrusting)


**Tequila Sunrises--The sunshine drink. Drink enough of these vitamin C enriched drinks and the common cold will be a thing of the past. Please note that although colds will visit in decreasing increments side effects may include sex with fuglies, random verbal diarrhea, and possible cirrhosis of the liver.


***secret crush guys---yes I had them. No I'm not sharing names. They will forever be my little secrets.