Sunday, July 10, 2011

Beware of Boring Days (and boring blog posts)

Being determined to have at least two posts during the month of July I sat at my desk and made a list of interesting things that happened to me today so I could share with my bloggie buddies.

  1. 8am--routine morning wake up call from Ryan Reynolds...Scarlett really hated these but now she's it's not a problem.
  2. Noon--routine morning wake up call from Adam Levine....This is when I actually wake up but I just can't break Ryan's heart like that.
  3. Tumble outta bed and stumble to the kitchen pour myself a cup of ambition yawnin stretchin try to come to life (as if you don't sing a little Dolly Parton when you get out of bed!)
  4. 12:15pm step outside to make sure that sometime during the night Operation Repo didn't utilize my little blue Nissan for practice.
  5. 12:16pm heart to heart with the new dog next door that it is perfectly acceptable for me to stand on my front porch in my underwear and barking like a fool is overreacting just a bit.
  6. At 2pm I realized that I would either have to dress for the day or go back to bed...day off! of course I went back to bed....
  7. 2:01 realized that one of the dogs had vomited in 4 different places on my bed. I am assuming that it was only one dog but honestly vomiting begets vomiting and there are 4 dogs. Of course it might be a bit different with dogs....humans rarely eat their puke so there are probably fewer parallels than I originally thought.
  8. I only wish they would have eaten their puke.
  9. So dressed for the day it was....and I suddenly had bedding to do.
  10. Why does the last 5 minutes of the wash cycle take 20?
  11. Off to the library where all the cool kids hang out because Reading is FUNdamental!
  12. Spelled Fundamental wrong and had to look it up online....apparently there is no definition for fundemental but it is used in a sentence in the Urban Dictionary (copy and pasted) *ahem* "The fundemental difference between being a biker and owning a motorbike is that the first has some stories to tell. The second has a surogate penis." after which I had to click the penis link "The tool used to wean and convert lesbians and virgins into useful, productive members of society."
  13. That Urban Dictionary! What a hoot!
  14. Meanwhile, back at the library....I checked out 27 books. Not because I'll read them all in the 3 weeks I'm allowed to have them but just because I could .
  15. Saw a man walking along the street that was wearing pink camouflage and a pink cowboy hat. Didn't realize the Army got new uniforms. He was really easy to spot outside but had he been at Victoria's Secret I'd never have seen him.
So at this point I realized that half this stuff was actually made up and the other half was boring as hell so that's where I gave up. I have no problems admitting I'm a quitter. My day just totally sucked the life out of Fun. And it's what I do everyday! Well, minus the dog puke and I only go to the library once a week...I'm not, like, obsessed or anything.

So, since that was a bust I'll give you the adventures of Cousin T and Me (part 1).

Years ago I might have had a little problem with just going along with whatever was suggested, if that suggestion was
A) not going to cause my death by accident (by parental punishment was another story)
B) suggested by a person close to me (I was really well educated on Stranger Danger) or
C) was not suggested by my younger sister (I was the leader and she was the follower in that relationship....she still complains that I made her eat a mud pie when she was 3.)

T and I must have been in middle school at the time and T, who was living at our Grandmother's, came up with this "crafting project" we could do. Being the only ones at Grandma's that day and being totally bored of course I went a long with it. The Crafting Project was to take out all the cake decorations from Grandma's pantry (there were something like 75 of them) and put them all on the table. Then T went and got two small bowls and put one in front of each of us.
"Now what?" I asked.
"We mix them! Grandma and I do this all the time." (she totally swears now that she never said that but whatever.)
"Are we making a cake?"
"Nope."
"Are we making cupcakes?"
"Nuh-uh"
"Okaaaaaay. So then what do you and Grandma do with the mixture when you are done mixing it?"
"We eat it silly!"

Now for some reason this made perfect sense to me. WTF? Looking back I just can't see Grandma spooning that shit into her mouth saying Yum Yum. Was I really that gullible? Yep.

I started with the little chocolate sprinkles that look a little a lot like mouse turds. I followed that up with the small silver balls then the large ones. Red and Green little snowflakey decorations were next. And then the multi-colored mouse turd sprinkles. A good dose of green colored sugar, then the red and my masterpiece was finished.

I utilized the spoon T had provided and have to say that as awesome as it looked it didn't taste that great. In case you've never mixed a bowl of these kind of cake decorations and shoveled them into your mouth I'm here to tell you they don't really have much of a flavor. However, the brown mouse turd sprinkles do have a slight chocolate taste but not like a Hershey's bar chocolate more like a Palmer easter egg chocolate in a little bitty jimmie (did you know that's what those turds are really called....I didn't I had to look it up.)

So, I gave up the dream and put the lid on my bowl and stuck my mixture in the pantry and walked the 3 blocks home to get ready for the rockin' Jr High dance that was going on that night (totally looked forward to singing naughty words to Mony Mony!)

A couple hours later, you guessed it, my mom got a phone call from my Grandmother asking why in the world I would do something like that. My "But T made me" excuse didn't hold water with my mom. Apparently T wasn't smart either because she didn't try to flush the evidence of her involvement knowing without a doubt Grandma was going to be mad and just leave me as the fall guy. Nope she was sitting at the table eating the evidence when Grandma came in.

We never did get to go to that dance. We spent the night sorting cake decorations into their proper containers. The colored sugar was a total loss though but it was used heavily every Christmas for 5 years. Grandma didn't believe in throwing anything out.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

I get lost in your eyes And I feel my spirits rise

Those are Debbie Gibson lyrics by the way. 150 points to the people who knew that.

I was talking to BooBooKitty the other night and both of us agreed that should someone from work hand us two tickets to see Debbie Gibson and Tiffany (they will be performing together mid-august at our casino) we would actually go. The chances of them giving out tickets this year is slim to none. Last year they gave tickets to us employees to certain shows. All we had to do was wait in line for 2 hours to get them. How awesome is that? Really not that much since all the great shit was not available. They gave us tickets to the shows that sold the least amount of tickets hoping to boost their revenue by beer they assume us off duty employees would purchase.

Anyway, back to the D-bop and Tiffster sorta, it got me thinking about my music identity crisis as a teenager. Early on (pre-high school) I pretty much listened to whatever my mom liked. Sad but true. Not that she was totally controlling or anything but somewhere along the line she convinced me that Yes, if I listen to that pop music at bedtime I will never fall asleep and that easy listening is the way to go. Can you say Brainwashing at it's Best?

I have to admit the sounds of Roger Whittaker's The Last Farewell did indeed put me to sleep.

and for that matter Rock Me Amadeus made me wanna sing along to words I didn't understand but faked it very convincingly (not so much.)


You can see where this is going right? I liked Rock Me Amadeus for the love of Pete! What does this have to do with the two pop princesses? Well, I liked them too. Mostly I liked Debbie better because she actually wrote her own songs and Tiffany just hung out at malls a lot.

I wasn't so obsessed with Debbie that I hung posters on my bedroom walls of her or anything...that space was taken up by The New Kids on The Block...but I did own this....
Oh YEAH! Don't be hatin'. Actually I think I still have my bottle sitting in a box somewhere in the attic. I bet it's still as terrific as it was 20 years ago. What with "a mildly sweet but innocent trial of the flirty power of perfumes" how could it not?

So absolutely I'm thinking about that concert. I probably wouldn't be the only 38 year old there singing along to Shake Your Love.


I still maintain that Debbie ( I just can't bring myself to call her Deborah!) is very talented. She was the youngest person to ever write, perform and produce a song that went to #1 (Foolish Beat just in case you wanted to know.) She really hasn't had a lot of success that can be heard on the radio in the last decade but she has been making a name for herself in theater playing parts like Belle from Beauty and the Beast and Eponine in Les Miserables. I am truly mortified that she was in the movie Mega Shark versus Giant Octopus though....Really D? What doesn't surprise me is that Lorenzo Lamas was her co-star.


So, I guess I still adore Debbie Gibson.

Tiffany on the other hand....She certainly grew a set of knockers and wasn't shy about using them.....